Duty, Honor, Oaths of Obligation: When Ethics collide

  Hey all,
  New here to the whole LJ thing, but thought I might hit the ground running here with the formative beginnings (which means discussion) of a workshop I've been asked to create for my local community.
    My path is most definitely NOT Wiccan, nor any kind of new age "neopagan" (gods, I hate that term...but that's a different topic) "eclectic". My path is fairly shamanic in nature, and, as some would say, of a slightly more "left-handed" variety. My personal interpretation (or shortening) of "Men's and Women's Mysteries", while basically accurate, is found by many Wiccans (or eclectic wiccans) to be somewhat "offensive". I do, however, desire for all of my students to put some serious effort into their shadow work, and am willing to go to some "interesting" places to help them deal their issues. No, I don't agree with the twits who would try to have you deal with your shadow self via a short "guided meditation or workshop" where you look at your anger/shame/fear/anguish and say "I see you and I forgive you/myself" and that's supposed to be the end of it. Really dealing with ones issues, the "shadow work", is NEVER that bloody simple.
    So, after our local Samhain festival was finished the other weekend, it was suggested that I lead "Men's Mysteries" next year with a rather...touchy..subject: 
      How does one reconcile the moral dichotomy of most modern pagans and wiccans ideas that "All life is Sacred" when faced with the burden of having to act otherwise because honor, or duty has required it? How does one who is wiccan justify having taken a life (or lives) while in service to their country during war? Or during the course of duty as a member of Law Enforcement? Or when those near you have died due to your mistakes or inaction (or your misplaced blame)?
     I mean, it's easy enough to shuffle it off with tepid little platitudes like "it doesn't count in service to country/ceasar", "that's a bit of shadow work you're going to have to reconcile for yourself", "that's in the past, god/dess forgives you..now focus on the rede or the general sacredness of life". Or any of a hundred others. Even the Christians don't usually have a good answer to this beyond "render unto ceasar/Christ forgives all". And, IMHO, these are all crap. I've had students that have "these stains on their souls" ,  and none of these platitudes would even come close to working. Even amongst those wiccans that follow the variant of the rede that adds "Lest in self defence it be", there still seems to be that major stumbling block regarding the sacredness of Life. I've also run in Asatru and druids that still have this "stumbling block".
      It seems to me that a step towards this reconciliation is a slight adjustment to their worldview. "Every life is Sacred, but no more so than every Death."  It may be that the gods alone can set the time of any mans death, that being in their perview alone, but who is to say that any one of us cannot be the tools by which they act? Yet, a part of me can't help but think that even this is just another of those "worthless platitudes". 
    Or is it not even a matter of "conventional" versus "non-conventional" ethics? Could it be more closely related to that deeply ingrained idea that taking anothers life is simply *wrong*. That little aspect that some writers or shows or movies will hint at when someone becomes physically, mentally, and/or emotionally sick after taking their first or even second life? Could it be that "switch" that some psychologists and councelors encounter when dealing with a cop that just shot someone dead in the line of duty? Or that bit of "careful observation" that military snipers undergo after their initial "engagements"?
      I know shadow work, at least the kind that actually deals with peoples demons with more than just lipservice, is different from person to person. I know that while a counselor might "specialize" in these kinds of cases, no two patients will ever have the same experience, let alone the same counseling tasks. But, I also know that there are some "techniques" which do work on generalized basis.
     I know, I've asked more questions than I've answered here. But as I said, I'm just beginning to build this into a (hopefully) very useful tool for delving into what many would consider "men's mysteries". 
     I very much want your ideas and comments. If not directly with this post, then as a private message with relevant parts cut/pasted. I would very much like to like to see this develop and maybe even become a tool that gets used by priests, priestesses, and pagan clergy whenever this particular "issue" comes up.
    Needless to say, this is only Part 1 of this particular post....others will follow as the year, and the workshop, develop.    

Chris / Grynner
 That Memphis Guy